1. Know your limits, and stick to them. Two examples:
A. A guy whom I was mentoring in aikido had made improper advances towards me, which I had at first refused politely. Unfortunately, he was persistent, and sent me several e-mails a day, saying, among other things, I was his only salvation and that he would “self-destruct” if I didn’t go out with him.
I’m not his savior. I broke off the mentoring relationship and told him not to write me anymore. The staff at the dojo has been informed and is on alert should he try to act out.
B. A student of mine let me know that she will no longer be taking lessons with me– she will be studying with a teacher who is well known in the clarinet world. Although she and I had a good rapport during our lessons together, I know that she can learn things from this teacher that I, as one who is not active in performing professionally, cannot teach. I wish her all the best.