After class last night, I bought a bokken so that I can practice the kata I need to be able to do for my test. I had a run-through of the kata during class, and quite honestly, it felt and looked clumsy.
I was happy to discover that I can safely practice with the sword in my living room– there’s no danger of hitting lights or scraping the ceiling, and in one direction, I can practice the entire finish to the technique without knocking anything over.
Let me say that I’m terrified of taking this test.
The only way I’m going to get through this fear is to practice a lot. Practice more than I usually do. I usually go to two classes a week– I’m increasing it to three, maybe four every other week until the test. I’m going to practice bokken kata every day at home until I feel like it’s going more fluidly. Feel the fear, practice practice practice.
For the next week, however, I’m putting the finishing touches for the recital. Find good reeds to play on. Practice with my partner for two nights. Run through the music. I have one more page of notes to learn– gotta do that tomorrow no matter what. Practice practice practice. Then play.
I’m feeling less confident, in general, than I usually am. Practicing– physically doing/being the music, the aikido, reassures me, puts me in a better frame of mind. In actuality, I can do the techniques, I can play the music– I need to remind myself that I can.
I can. I will.