I talked at length with my mentor and with the head instructor, and a lot of ideas were thrown out there. Cross-training? classes with other instructors? teaching a class elsewhere? I don’t know.
That erstwhile spark is still not there, but the other night, when I went to 2 back-to-back classes, I felt it was just beyond my reach….
I’m still pondering over the idea of living aikido, off the mat. I still don’t grasp this.
My experiment right now: continue teaching, go to a couple Saturday morning classes, cross-train with yoga. Continue until June. If I can’t reconnect with that something, then I really do have to give myself a break. If it’s meant to be a part of my life, I will gravitate back to it. If it isn’t, then there are other things for me to pursue. I need to be honest with myself.
This is the best I can do for now.